28 Ağustos 2015 Cuma


Does such a thing exist; living a life without being bothered about other people in the society? If so, how come? and why can't I do that? 

It is a cliché which is told everywhere that we are social beings and social interaction is inevitable, if not needed. Then how come we are expected to mind our own business only? Sorry, but I can not mind my own business unless I have a decent number of decent people around me. What is the decent number? I don't know. I guess it depends on the degree of decency. One highly decent person might be equal to 5 semi decent ones? Heh, that's a stupid trade and probably wouldn't work. 

I'm highly annoyed with people who lies. I'm even more annoyed when people lie to themselves. I can find one reason or another when I see people lying to me. It is relatively easy to understand. One lies maybe to cover a fact which might put him into trouble, maybe because he is afraid of the consequences of his act, or maybe afraid of being judged. But when I see people lying to themselves; denying the obvious facts and ignoring their own desires - which would make them a happier person if they dare to pursue - I go crazy! I surely try to talk, try to help them understand the situation, understand themselves and try to make them feel understood - yet still not judged because of their thoughts/emotions. But the problem appears when nothing changes. I can not bare within the timescales of human psychology. Funny that I work within astronomical timescales! 

I know, my impatience and utopic level of 'not giving a f.ck to judgemental people' can be unbelievable and may be scary sometimes. And I know I can not expect the same thing from others. But what I don't get is; why not? Why not I shouldn't expect this from other people? Why do people chain themselves with the fear of not being appreciated? Why do you really care a person who directly reaches to a conclusion/decision about you without trying to understand you at all? Why do you give this power to these judgemental and harmful people? Yes, everybody wants to be recognized and loved and appreciated. But isn't the degree of decency of the judge important at this? Do you want all appreciations no matter where it comes from? And why do you want it so badly that you are willing to change/hide the real you instead of opposing the person/authority/judge and telling bravely that 'you don't care'! How come ignoring your real desires is less painful than ignoring the need of appreciation? How low is your self-esteem that you are so ready to accept that your emotions/thoughts/values are more likely to be wrong/ignored than being considered and worths recognition? When did you give up on yourself? When did you stop recognizing your emotions and thoughts? When did you surrender to the fake power of pre-set successes? and why? It doesn't have to be like this. 

I know it is difficult to be yourself. It is difficult to purify yourself from the stereotype expectations of the society. But it isn't any more painful than ignoring your own thoughts and needs and emotions. It isn't any more limiting than looking for appreciation by the-queen-of-impossible-to-satisfy. I wish you knew this. I wish you could dare to give this a try...