14 Aralık 2015 Pazartesi

too much

You are expecting too much from people, he said. 
I am expecting sincerity and honesty, I replied.
This is too much! she said, this is too much.

Honesty... is a difficult virtue. It brings the risk of being rejected for being who you are and this is not an easy thing to handle because most people are desperate for all sorts of appreciations and has no power to confront the possible rejections for being who they are, their thoughts and emotions. Is this because today's world is more judgemental than compassionate or people would still be in need of admiration even the society would be more embracing? 
'If I say that I don't like this kind of music/book/movie, s/he might think we are not compatible.' 
'If I say that I am not agree, s/he might give up on me.'
'If I say that I don't want this, s/he might get angry.'
These dilemmas may perplex every mind but would you really want to be with someone who judges you from your choice of music/book/movie without asking your reasons? Would you really want to be with someone just because you don't want to be alone? Would you really want to be with someone who disrespects your choices? Why? Are you so lonely and needy to be with people no matter how prejudiced and judgmental they are? 

Sincerity... is a dangerous generosity. It brings the prospect of exposing your emotions and this is not an easy thing to recover in case you are hurt, because no matter how evolved we think we are, we are still very much directed by our feelings. Our psychology is made up of our feelings rather than our thoughts, hence the recent years' cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the methods trying to teach people how to control their emotions/psychology/mood; in other words, how not to be the slave of our emotions. But all these aside, why are you still afraid to be genuine even if the reward would be a very close friendship, a strong trust, a solid relationship or an honest response? Are you so crumbled to come back into one piece?

How can you live a life which you can not be yourself freely? Then how can you be really happy when a friend misses you, knowing what s/he misses is not the real you? How can you really trust people when you are not being trustworthy, how do you deal with this suspicion? How can you keep this pseudo character of yours in every hour of every day?

Aren't you tired? Don't you want to be accepted and appreciated for who you really are? I envy your endurance... but sorry for your despair.

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